Saturday, April 26, 2008

Cliched Out

I've held my peace for too long. It's time to speak out against a troubling trend that seems to be gaining momentum.

First it was the Horse Whisperer. The man who understood and had a way with troubled horses. This was fine. It was new and kind of interesting. Next came the Dog Whisperer, who, like the Horse Whisperer, could relate to and correct the behavior of difficult animals. A play off of the original, this too was bearable. Then someone decided the Ghost Whisperer would be cute. A woman with the uncanny ability to reach beyond the veil and communicate with troubled spirits. This is where things really began to veer off-course. Clue #1: Anything involving Jennifer Love Hewitt should probably give you pause.

Now... now apparently there's the Breast Whisperer.

Who seriously thought this was a good idea? I mean, I completely empathize with how frustrating breastfeeding can be. It certainly didn't come naturally to E and Melbo. (After two weeks of trying, I became a huge Similac booster, while Melbo, bless her heart, devotedly carried on the good fight). But come on people, some word-plays just don't work. There has got to be a better name than "Breast Whisperer" (especially at $150 an hour). Lactation Wizard. Breast-Feeding Guru. Master Lactator. Lactating Queen. Pretty much anything strikes me as less cringe-worthy.

On the scale of bad derivatives though... I guess I'd have to concede, if pushed, that it's better than "nipplegate" (slightly).

12 comments:

melbo said...

Yes, the title is a tad.. trite. But damn. I wish I knew her 15 months ago. (And believe me, babe, you would've coughed up the dough if I had.) I love her "Breast and Breakfast" idea.

Mike Bohn said...

I consider myself a breast whisperer.

Mike Bohn said...

I was going to say something else about all the cliche, but now after seeing my husband's comment, I think it's pretty funny!

Ever seen the King of Queens episode with the OBGYN who was the Vagina Whisperer? Pretty funny.

buddens said...

Woops, that second "mike" comment was really me.

BA said...

It's probably better than tit talker or jugs juicer. Those were the first that came to mine for me. (incidentally, I've just locked those URLs up, don't know which direction I'll take those websites)

Marc said...

Mike - No objection from the Buddens. Apparently your wife concurs.

Mel - Wow. That one would have been good to now before I wrote this post.

BA - Touche.

Alifinale said...

You are so right - the title makes me cringe. Just makes me think of pervy teenage boys and what woman wants to let that manhandle their engorged breasts.

Rob said...

You're right, I mean horses, dogs, and, I suppose, ghosts all have minds (and ears) of their own and can therefore conceivably respond to the magic words of their respective whisperers. A boob, or more accurately, an engorged pair of boobs, can't really respond to anybody's whispers. Right? If they could, they'd probably respond just as well to the whimperings, whinings, and general angst of their owner. No matter how much we all might enjoy whispering to boobs, they should have been more accurate. Something both functional and informative would have been better. I like Master Milker.

CRAIGERS said...

This is UDDERLY ridiculous ya'll

King Family said...

lame. I agree with "rob" boobs don't have ears, or a brain.

abbyjane said...

hey, y'all know there's also a baby whisperer? In fact, there are at least two women that claim this title. I own a book by one, the other I saw on Oprah.

and melissa, I feel your pain-two times over. Jeff would've forked it out too, BELIEVE YOU ME, had we known. Although, time two? Not quite as rough.

fille suisse said...

I've just made a mid-year resolution to check my siblings' blogs more regularly (okay, to at least log on once), and of course (why am I surprised. . .it's Marc) we're talking about body parts.